Today will be long, it will be difficult, it will be a blessing.
As I have continued to run through the muck of this weight loss journey I find myself, more and more, leaving my excuses at the door and running towards health. With my Momma's recent diagnosis of breast cancer I can't go one day without thinking how this will affect me for the rest of my life and, Lord willing, our daughter's life! If there is one truth to be said about this journey it would be that The Lord is ever faithful and full of blessings. My children will most certainly hear of the legacy of the Lord's strength in our lives and especially the life of my sweet momma!
I've struggled a lot lately with my relationship in Christ - now when I say that I don't mean with believing in Him but rather allowing myself to be used in the most extraordinary way possible and letting the Holy Spirit who lives within me to actually live THROUGH me! I would beg to say that for me it is easy to believe in God but to let Him live through me is another subject. I wouldn't say that I'm scared I would say that I feel unequipped and useless... That my friends is a BIG, FAT LIE! God has brought our family to this moment for a reason, He would not bring us to this if He hadn't given us the strength to go through it! My prayer would just be that I continue to equip myself and make myself His servant!
So today as I sit here in one of the most emotional places filled with death, life, pain, joy, suffering, and fear... I feel immensely blessed! Yes, waiting five to six hours for my mom to lose her biggest assets :) will feel like forever but honestly I feel at peace knowing that God is in control and that I am not... Thank the good Lord! Yes, seeing my momma in a completely different way, physically, will be difficult but she is still the same faithful person that God has loved for all eternity! This is only the beginning and we have immediately come into a place of being "lifers" in advocacy for breast cancer!
This journey of weight loss and breast cancer will be a lifelong journey that I will battle. I cannot do it without God who will continually refine me, and others, through the fire - and for that I am so grateful that the Lord loves me enough to continually help me to grow with Him and towards Him!
May whomever we come into contact with on this journey be blessed by the way the Lord has blessed us! Thank you Lord for the freedom to love you with all that I am and all that I have! Thank you for the people, church, and community that have continued to surround us! Your love is abounding within us! May we plant a seed, help water and grow, or see another abide in You! May we all remain in You so that You may remain in us! May we be anchored by grace so that hope may dwell within us! You give and take away - I have always desired for my heart to continually say - blessed be Your name!
Feel free to pray for me on this journey, my momma as well, not only for breast cancer but health for both of us! Don't hesitate to let us know! Thank you for all your prayers so far!
Love, Ellie!
I LOVE YOU MOMMA!
