It hasn't been easy, but when is it ever been easy? Working in jobs we don't like only because the pay is quite hefty and the reward is... well there is no reward, just a bunch of monetary things that quite honestly get us no where. It doesn't matter if I buy the "right" clothes, find the "right" guy, find the "right" job, make the "right" impression. In all reality "right", like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder; which really can make things complicated. When it comes down to right and wrong, what is the truth? When it comes to determining whether someone is beautiful or hideous, what is the truth? Now, some would say that giving you the answer would be like taking away the prize at the end of the line but for me and you, it's just the next piece to the puzzle. The truth that I have found relevant in my life is Jesus Christ. A faith that has been around since far beyond my comprehension. Jesus Christ is the one and only source of truth in my life. So this leads me into my next line of business...
Beauty. As I was driving home one night, not too long ago, I was thinking of this and the title of my blog and also how I hadn't posted in a long time and how I should probably make a new goal of posting more often... anyway... I was thinking "hmmm, why did I ever choose the title 'On the Road to Beautiful...' apart from the fact that it is an awesome worship song?" Then it struck me that it was never about me becoming beautiful, I have always been beautiful. Before my Father made me I was already beautiful. It was the part where I had to accept it that got me to the title of this blog. Now, if you know me or if you even know me at all, you know that the word "beautiful" and me have never been put into a sentence and come from my mouth in my life. Maybe in consecutive sentences but most certainly not the same. Amazingly enough, I'm going to try to change that. See, for those of you who don't know me all that well, I have struggled with body image issues and just myself in general. I was the girl who didn't really like to go outside and get dirty or play outside, I liked to stay in and play with my Mom and watch whatever was on t.v. I also was the girl, and still am a little bit, who vowed for her father's attention whenever she could get it. I was a girl who lost the translation of the word beauty.
Beauty. In my life today, that word is being redefined and redeemed from the one who stole it away by mind games. Now, I'm not saying that it isn't a struggle and that it will go away instantly. I do believe however that I will struggle for the rest of my life to get my mind in a spot where I don't have to worry about the word "beauty" every single hour of every single day. My hopes are to walk by a mirror one day and not wince at it or to roll my eyes at it but to really give God back the blessings and the glory for giving me a perfectly capable and (semi) healthy body. No longer will I vow for my father's attention, but I will praise my Father for a wonderful and fearful work He has done in me and to Him will be all the glory, honor, and praise.
But for right now, in this present moment I'm just a princess of the Most High King who is on the road to beautiful...
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