Didn't your mom ever tell you whatever come up must come back down?
After going thru our all-church journey with just over 60 other churches in the Cincinnati area, I seemed to be in a plane, on the other side, and then I started to descend. Into the gloomy mess. My goal for all of 'lent' (even though I am not catholic, it has always seemed to run it's course as a tradition in our family to give something up or replace a 'bad habit' for lent) was to get up and spend time with THE creator of the universe, my God and my Savior. Yet as the week before Easter came, it seemed that everything and anything came into my way to get in between or in front of our relationship. Whatever it was, I let it. I let my newly found love for Christ, one that seemed more intense than the one before, drop. Right out of my hands and onto the floor. My heart and flesh cry out for that intense relationship, that true and loving communion. Everything within me feels dry and wounded, longing to be saved and swept up into His arms of love once again.
...and no matter how many times this happens, He always takes me back, right back to where I long to be. Will I let Him this time, or will I still be stubborn and try to resist thinking that I can do it on my own? Will you let Him? He desires that intimacy with you, whatever you're looking off at and not up at Him, it doesn't EVEN compare to His surpassing greatness.
I desire 'this', whatever 'this' is I will find it! I WILL FIND IT AGAIN!
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