If only life had a fast forward button...

So much has happened and it has happened so fast! So many ups and downs recently in my life and all that I can do is hold on to God in seasons like these. One of my friends just continues to bring me down in life and I think it is time to let her go. It is going to be hard but it has to be done. My best friend is not sure what he wants me to be to him, more or less, and I just wish life had a fast forward button so that I can know what our answer is to each other. My roommate who is my best friend, now more than ever, feels more of an aquaintence and I just want things to be better. I passed out in my bathroom a week ago and I am not feeling the greatest now. I have been having dizzy spells to the point of loosing almost all of my control of my body. I am stressed out because of finals and at this point I don't know that I really care if I pass or fail. I just want to be home, I want things to feel right, I want to be with him. BUT, it is always in God's time and in God's hands. It is not my own decision and it most certainly not his and not yours. Do not define life by what you want out of it, define it by what God wants to give you. I don't want to go home, I need to be home but I don't want to be there. I cannot explain the feelings I have right now... I don't know that God has me exactly where He wants me yet. I guess we will have to see! Transferring just might be in my future... you never know what God is going to do next!